Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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