There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
