i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I smell stomach acid.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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