My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
