Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
