Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
