so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
