Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
