I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When did we convert life to cartoon?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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