I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
