I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
