She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Someone signed my nipple.
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