chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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