I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
