why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
