your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
