I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
