Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
