I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
