finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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