i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
