One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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