we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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