I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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