I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
