Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
