if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
