Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
