He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize