grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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