I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
