i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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