I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
