Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
