You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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