she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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