omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
