By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
