can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
