tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
