hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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