You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize