dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
try to milk me bitch
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