I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
