I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
