that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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