He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
