Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
