Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize