She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
