He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
