i think my tv is drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
