would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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