Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
