I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
