Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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