Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
