I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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