Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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