I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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