I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
