i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
