what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize