ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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