my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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