Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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