why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
